One Morning, I Felt Like Drinking. So I Asked Myself Why.

A couple weeks ago, I had a rough morning. A combination of poor sleep, familial obligations, and workplace stress left me feeling overwhelmed. And I had this thought that said, “You know, a shot would certainly help.”

Here’s what happened:

Transcript

A couple of weeks ago, early in the morning, I woke up after having had a rough night's sleep, a lot of stress, a lot of things going on, and my wonderful son was having a rough morning himself. And it all just seemed to penetrate. So, when my partner and he left for school and I'm getting ready to go to work, I had this thought that said, “You know, a shot of alcohol would certainly help.”

Now, fortunately I chuckled instead of going to very familiar thoughts that I've had in the past, and actually some thoughts that were handed to me as part of my early recovery which were, “You’re dumb,” or somehow that thought is an example of your disease, or that this is self-sabotage thinking. The kinds of stuff that basically are pointing out that that thought is wrong. And instead, I wondered, “What is this thought trying to tell me?”

Well, I certainly didn't want to drink. I don't drink in the mornings. That's never a thing I want to do. So, this idea of wanting to drink was--it was trying to tell me something. It was trying to tell me that I was feeling stressed, I was feeling overwhelmed, and I wanted a little bit of a break from it. And because of my history, and because of the role that alcohol has played in my life, there's a part of me that associates getting a break, disassociating, with drinking. And that part of me inside came to my defense.

There's a part of me inside that said, “I know how to help you.” And for me, the choice that day was to take care of myself, to make my workload lighter, to exercise because that helps me, to reach out to people and say, “Man, I'm having a really tough time,” and to try to get some support around that. Those were my choices and I feel really good about those choices in that particular day.

And the purpose of this video is to really highlight the benefit of honoring our inner experience as a way of giving ourselves the opportunity to learn from them, to gain flexibility and choice and freedom in our responses, as opposed to being driven by our compulsions. On that particular morning, I needed to just be taken care of. And by being able to do that, I didn't need to drink and that felt pretty good.

Evo Health and Wellness is an outpatient addiction treatment program that respects where you are and where you want to go. Clients set goals that work for them, whether they include complete abstinence or moderation. Evo sees success as lasting change in the client’s life, including physical health, movement towards personal goals, and their sense of connection and purpose. Evo’s program integrates psychotherapy, psychiatry, life coaching, and somatic therapy. Learn more about Evo’s program.